preservation of flaws

(originally published May 18, 2011.)

"I myself am entirely made out of flaws, stitched together with good intentions."
~Augusten Burroughs (via savvylikeyeahhh)

(via theonewithouteyebrows)

preservation of the past

(originally published May 7, 2011.)



A very wise friend of mine, relating words from a friend of both of ours who had passed on, told me she had described me once thusly: "She's not poison," she’d said, in response to comments from friends. "She's poisoned."

There is truth to that statement, hard and heavy truth, but still, the words linger, given scope and presence possibly beyond their intent by the identity of the speaker. If I'm not poison, entirely, if I’m simply poisoned, instead...how do I go about draining the poison? How do I balance toxicity with the health I hope for (mental, emotional, physical, supernatural...take your pick here, really)? Can I heal enough to not be toxic to those around me in future?

Or is it instead part of my nature, now? Bitter with the sweet, hurt with the joy...am I a scorpion, not a butterfly? How would I know?

preservation of anxiety

(originally published March 12, 2011.)



My biggest flaw, my biggest fault, it's one I understand, and still struggle to stop doing--I hide. From myself, from everyone else, but even from those who know me and love me, I hide. When there is no reason to hide, I hide. And I don't know how to stop.

It is the most difficult thing, ever, to allow my face to accurately reflect what I feel. It's such a challenge at this point that half the time, I'm not even sure what my face is reflecting.

preservation of Anais

(originally published March 12, 2011.)

"Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death."
~Anais Nin (via blacksunblacks0n