Surviving IKEA
basicknowledgeblogger:I just wanted a bookshelf, man
xx-sparkle-girl-nanu-xx:
hgk477:
In case you are trapped:
- Never enter near closing hours.
- Do not mispronounce IKEA product names. What you summon will haunt you.
- Do not trust the arrows.
- Walls shift and new ones appear out of nowhere.
- Avoid, at any cost, staying after closing hours.
- Do not ask employees for directions to the exit. Most of them have been trapped inside the building ever since they signed the contract.
- These once happy and good people have grown spiteful. Do not trust them. They want you to stay.
- Make the bed after trying it out. It makes them less angry.
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- Find John. He has lived in the store for six years, unnoticed.
- Avoid eye contact with employees roaming around.
- Hide whenever possible.
- The ghost families living in the showrooms won’t betray you.
- Do not steal any pencils. It will give away your position.
- Avoid walking through the bed area. The creatures sleeping there won’t appreciate your presence.
- When music from the 30s starts blasting through the speakers, Walter, the handyman, has noticed you and wants to drive his screwdriver through your ear.
- Run.
- He often shouts jokes chasing you followed by the laughter of IKEA personnel echoing throughout the store. Never let your guard down.
- Open as many wardrobes as you can. Some of them are magic portals. Pray that you find one in time before he finds you.
- Only go through a portal when absolutely necessary. What you find on the other side is often not pleasant.
- If there is no other option, try pronouncing the name of the IKEA furniture closest to you. The ground will start to shake. Prepare yourself for the worst.
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Time to make my next Halloween rpg one shot a survival horror session in IKEA
